Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
