You really coming over, don't trick.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
