He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
