I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
