in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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