your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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