So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
