Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
