Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
