I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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