She said her name was "party"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
