my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
