Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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