someone get that fucking seahorse.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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