new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
