About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Barsexuality is the new black.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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