I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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