just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
