Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Lo siento on account of my penis...
try to milk me bitch
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