i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
