nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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