I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
