I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
