i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's great music for shaving your balls
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
