you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
