I haven't been this sober since birth.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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