ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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