Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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