I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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