I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
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Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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