Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
