we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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