I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
