They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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