His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
