I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
