I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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