Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize