there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
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Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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