Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
