just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
