I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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