I wish my penis had an off switch
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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