when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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