why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
