what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
