Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They have beer where we have blood.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
