Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
vagina is talking i cant
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I am never drinking with the goths again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
