i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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