Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
