I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
