it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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