he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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