Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I need to calm my uterus...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
