It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize