my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
