can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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