this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
