everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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