I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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