She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
