great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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